Posted by The Happy Tutor
I will leave it up to Sgt. Mike to explain the difference between Juvenalian and Horation satire, though Tony has it right about WB. The old WB was Juvenalian, the new Horation. Juvenal cut to wound; he flayed malefactors alive as an example to the others; his object was soul murder. Horace was a counselor to Augustus and a friend of Maencenas. He perfected the style of moderation and urbanity. He cut like a surgeon, or so he said, only to heal. The knife might slip, but he would always apologize to the widow. Swift is mostly Juvenalian, except in his sermons patterned on Horace, with just a little sting, like a teacher's rod. Dryden in Macfleckno, or Pope in The Rape of the Lock, or John Gay in The Beggars Opera are Horation. Or, try Dr. Johnson in these peices were he introduced my good friend and fellow immortal Dick Minim. Note how the essay is "normal," until Minim shows up, mixing fact and satire as if no difference need be observed in this topsy turvey world of ours. Where do you think the A.F. learned that technique? He is too dumb to make it up himself, believe me.
Why the change at WB and its Affiliated Properties? Do you think I could get into the Council on Foundations, or into a book edited by Peter Karoff, or on stage with Tracy Gary, were I to come stinking of bum wine and garbage and impugning the motives of the guests, hosts, sponsors - everyone's motives in fact but mine? Now, the A.F. is another matter. Look at his fat face on the sidebar of Gifthub as jovial and unctuous as a monk. Can you imagine him moving among the donors and their advisors, so much in his element, soliciting their "values" and aligning their means and their ends? After a career without one ill-tempered word, one raised eyebrow, he is welcome wherever he goes, talking of giving and morality to a smattering of polite applause. Yet who is whose sock-puppet? Where he enters, who happens to always pop up like a Jack in the Box from out of the A.F.'s luggage? He is a Morals Tutor, he says, to America's Wealthiest Families; what is that but a weak ripoff of my own title, Dungeon Master to the Stars?
With the A.F. as front man, well, give us 60 minutes for a lecture, give us 20 pages for a chapter. Line up the press. We can go on in the singsong plain style of Strunk and White, the accepted prose of the candid prevaricators, for as long as they and their high-toned reader's wish. It will be a wise journalist who knows she has been had.
Now, ladies and gentlemen, I hear the A.F. calling; it is time for his Sermon on Family Values, the favorite topic among the avaricious and the vain. I am going inside. You can wait out here in the Dumpster until I give the signal, then roll it in like a birthday suprise. Jump out as the A.F. talks about the importance of community. "We the people" have arrived in The World We Want - on our way back to the garbage heap, no doubt. Make the most of it; either we slay Candidia and friends with laughter, or they us, in some other less enjoyable way. Such is this fool's game.