Posted by The Happy Tutor
Hard day today: from 8:00 am to quiting time it was one spanking after another, big butts, small butts, fat ones, scrawny ones, another bottom every 15 minutes per the Wealth Bondage speedup policy - priests, pundits, editors, professors, politicians, celebrities, lonely housewifes, young men on the make, policemen, torture meisters back from Iraq and looking for a thrill - spanked them all and taught each a personalized moral, all for no purpose, made no impression whatsoever. Not one thank you, not a tip. "Good day, Tutor, until next time," was about it. So I come back to the Dumpster, open a beer, and try to relax reading some of my favorite blogs, when what do I see but an old and dear friend, an expert in the noble art of rhetoric characterizing Wealth Bondage as, yes, "rhetorical bombast," he called it. That is my life, he is talking about, my ouvre. I am in my dotage now, and was even in my prime no M. Berube, but why rub it in? John Donne slept towards the end in his coffin; I am laid out cold in my Dumpster on a sack of garbage. Every third thought is now of my grave. When the time comes, just shut the lid and come back to find the Dumpster empty a day later, ready for more garbage or another derelict. Mike, does that course you teach on rhetoric include eulogy? Something maybe along the lines of "Lycidas"? They are doing a Festschrift in my honor, you know, on the occasion of my retirement or death whichever comes quicker. Just like I was a real theorist or something. Could you contribute? I mean, nicely? Maybe you could set it as an excercise for the plebes.