Q: Sir, the seas are running hot. The fish are dying. Less rain falls because the forests are being cut down and there is less transpiration into the atmosphere. Species extinction is accelerating. The seas are dying. Peak oil threatens the American Way of Life. We predict falling property values in the midwest and southwest, coastal flooding, and tens of millions fleeing from place to place, with widespread starvation and growing civil unrest. What are you going to do about it?
Rumsfield to take up blogging, at Collective Lounge. The record must be corrected. Terrorists are getting their side told. It is about time our heroic victory in Iraq got the attention it deserved. It takes a strong leader to put the fear of God into an interpretive community. Otherwise people will wander all over the map with their misreadings.
Monitor this. Brandintel. Monitor this. Brandintel,BrandIntel enables public relations professionals to:
Identify and continuously monitor online consumer media, blogs, messages boards/discussion forums and other Internet content sources that are relevant to your organization and its public relations enterprise
Capture and measure consumer commentary and media-generated buzz on the Internet at formative
stages — providing an early warning system for both PR opportunities and damaging issues before they escalate and become front page news
Track market reactions, attitudes, and interests for your brands, products, executives and industry as this online buzz gains momentum in the global marketplace — while identifying and measuring the size, scope and severity of potential issues, damaging rumors and negative publicity early.
Brandintel monitor this, track this, escalate this, pre-empt this. Capture the Wealth Bondage Buzz. Maximize, optimize, and buff Brandintel, your brand, your brand, your own brand. Protect the brand. Protect The Brandintel brand. How can you protect other brands unless you protect Brandintel itself? Wealth Bondage says, "Brandintel is integral to our operation. Without Brandintel we could not measure, manage and maximize Wealth Bondage. We highly recommend Brandintel to all producers and consumers of Wealth Bondage. Get Brandintel now." Brandintel Brandimensions Group. Not, mind you, Brand Dimensions Group, you omit the second D. So it goes like this: Brandimensions Group. Sleek, very sleek. Monitor Wealth Bondage? And yes Wealth Bondage monitors you. Monitor, track and control. Brandintel Brandimensions. Monitor, track, and identify the magnitude, scope and severity, of the issue. Early Warning! Early Warning! Wealth Bondage will soon be number one in Google for Brandintel, Brandimension Group. Want to bet? Monitor that. Call the SVP! Emergency! Emergency! Brandintel says Brandimension Group is under scrutiny from Wealth Bondage. Wealth Bondage praises Brandintel. Wealth Bondage backs Brandimension Group. Wealth Bondage loves and endorses Brandintel. Wealth Bondage rates Branditel Brandimension Group a strong buy. Three thumbs up for Brandintel. Brandintel, Wealth Bondage is with you, 24/7.
Let me personally invite the PR Team from Brandintel to drop by the Dumpster and let us have a good look at one another. You check us out. We check you out. We have a few beers. We speak well of each other. It is all good. Bring the pizza. I will bring the beer.
The good Inspector Lohmann, On Blogging. He writes a few thousand words and is still just clearing his throat. He is not the Montaigne, but the Dr. Johnson of blogging. We need a Boswell to sit with him and record his evening thoughts, by the fire, drinking mulled wine. I glumly watch bloggers I knew "in the old days" becoming more tried and true, more socially acceptable, as their blog becomes part of their official play-it-safe identity, or becomes an act for money, like all the others. But Lohmann is incorruptibly himself - eccentric? Well, not square, that is for sure. Definitely out of balance with his times. A man of the book who writes on line. Actually, he said the piece was cribbed from a mostly unpublished 14 part disquisition he wrote in 2004, so maybe that accounts for the tone that reminds me so of what blogging used to be, before it got so tame. Even back then we were saying the Golden Age had passed, and it probably had, if you what you enjoy is the ragged edges, the night thoughts, the compulsive stuff that people mutter online to prevent themselves from going crazy in a society that has forgotten all about Montaigne. We thought then that blogging was a latrine in a seedy bar on whose walls we could scribble unwelcome truths. Now we realize that the whole place is wired, and nowhere else do we have less privacy than online. Not that I personally give a shit, since I don't exist - I am just a Fetish Action Figure, so I can be as bad as I want. Yup, I did say shit. It is an Augustan conceit, so fuck yourself. You want me to make you read a poem to prove it? Then shut up.