Posted by Captain Blowtorch
Pastor Ted Haggart steps down. I hope my prior post didn't have anything to do with it. I didn't mean to blow his, you know, his cover. He hates gays just like I do, it is just that some guys are so damn sexy, particularly Preachers, when they get all aflame with the inner light of God and their faces get all red and puffy. Now, meth is another story. The times me and my Brothers in the Hogs of Heaven had a few beers and got naked, we didn't need no drugs. The thrill was so real. I get a boner now just thinking about it. Preacher Jack, we used to call him, hung like a stallion. A real man of God in leather chaps. He saved me or did me, or both; it all runs together in my mind. I do remember being on my knees in ecstasy, and his saying something about accepting my Lord and Savior. And me crying and carrying on and calling out, "O God, O God, have mercy!" But then again it is all pretty new to me. Maybe the thrill wears off after awhile, just like marriage. That's the reason I say "Ban Gay Marriage" - better to keep the thrill alive. I for one don't blame, Pastor Ted. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Once saved, always saved, otherwise why bother? Don't apologize, Ted. Just get yourself tested. I have always loved you like a brother and always will, but my heart belongs to Preacher Jack.