Posted by The Happy Tutor
A variant of "Why I blog no more" would be "Why I don't blog so so good no more," or, "Why my heart isn't in it anymore." As far as I can tell it has to do with masks and authorship; identity, and responsibility; rule, roles, and relations. I notice that most of the commenters here carefully preserve their masks, thereby keeping their real life options open. I may have gone wrong in letting my mask slip, putting my career, as Morals Tutor to America's Wealthiest Families, in jeopardy.
In the olden days, according to Bakhtin, Feast Days were marked by pomp and ceremony, reinforcing social roles, as each person appeared in propria persona, whether King , Courtier, Clown or Peasant, but also in professional regalia. The two kind of went together. The King was the one with the Crown and the Ermine, and the Retinue. That was "the real king." There was no sense that he was just some guy with a crown, who had gotten lucky with his parentage.
On Carnival days, the uniforms came off, and everyone appeared in another kind of propria persona, very often in masks, cavorting and making mock, and engaging in fisticuffs, drinking, and whoring. Call this the impropria persona. Lear reaches this state on the heath, having given away his Kingdom and gone mad, "Off off lendings," he says, stripping off his ceremonial robes, to reveal man, including a king, as "a poor bare forked creature such as thou art."
Feasts and Carnivals, like the seasons, or the seasons in a person's life from birth to death, make up the liturgical calendar, a circle, never changing though the generations come and go. Carnival, then, is not revolutionary, but a respite, and a counter-truth, each feast and each fair or carnival marking a radius on a circle that goes on forever, ending where it starts and starting over and over forever.
There is a decorum for Feast days, one of homage, reverence, deference and due degree of rank, marked by robes of office. There is a decorum for Carnival, marked by masquerade, chaos, riot, and madness. No one would mix the two, except the Fool, who is always what he is, always in propria persona, and always in the same rags, always by the King's side, always out of his own mind.
Yes, the Fool is the King's most loyal retainer, though he may be whipped for it. But without such a Courtier, such a mad retainer, not only the King but the Kingdom is out of joint.
How then to play the Fool in propria persona, when you have to pass for sane to make a living in the madhouse we call "Wealth Bondage"? All I would suggest to my critics is that they too must address this issue, in their lives and in their blogging. I blog badly, because it is not so funny when your own career is on the line. Running around naked and raving among men in suits, and woman in formal gowns, well -- it may be my job around here, but some days it is more than I can manage. So, I do blog badly, from fear more than fun. You need to know whether it is a Feast Day or a Fair Day. And on the internet, posts show up on the wrong days, in the wrong places. Authentically, we should all be naked all the time, but that is not how life, or social life works. We are expected to go along to get along, and not to offend people, unless on purpose in certain contexts licensed for that purpose. So, does a true Fool go deeper into masquerade, or off with the mask and appear as what he is? A courtier among others, one dedicated to the Queen? Whose name, unfortunately, appears to be Candidia? Call me, then, Candidia's Fool. And what fun is that? Better to go crazy, if I haven't already.